tongue-tied

i'm really sad, and mad and confused.

sad because i've possibly ruined my chance
man because i didn't get enough time
confused because i really don't know what to do

so what if, i went to UofT - would i still have this feeling of regret inside?
so what if, i went to Ryerson - would i still be stuck in this unhappy life?
Do i stay and continue without the risk of everything going wrong?
Or
Do i go and start a new life, risking everything?

why is this so hard? why? why? why?
So what if i accepted Ryerson? Why is that a bad thing? Why can't i be an average person? Why is it wrong? So what if they accept everyone? Why does this even matter?

Where do i want i go? I wish i knew.