it's not you, it's me

He finally asked. Can you believe it? He didn't really ask. I must admit .. the idea was really cute but i guess it was just bad timing.

Story goes..

So after school, i was furious .. furious that everyone was being asked but me. Furious that i was not happy. Furious that i felt unloved. Furious that it was such a beautiful day and i still felt sad. Just FURIOUS. As Daniel drove me home to drop off my bags, we didn't say a word. Even after we reached Eatons, all we said was "Bye". This all made me even MORE FURIOUS. By the time i walked into TNA, i was bursting with anger. But i had to put a smile on and say hi to all my co-workers. As i walk by the cash desk, Hana says "Hi Rosanna! Go to the back room!" I knew something was up.. as i got to the back, i see a bear with a cardboard box. I was wayyy too furious to care. My first reaction was "Oh god." (Btw, it was a bear, a puzzle containing a picture of us that said "Prom?" and a cookie cake that said "happy anniversary")

I get it, he's trying. I should really give him credit for all the effort he's putting in. As all my co-workers ask me what's wrong, i try to brush it off, trying to keep my personal life away from work. But as i explained to them, i caught myself saying "Honestly, he didn't do anything wrong.. i'm just unhappy. He's trying to cheer me up, he's trying very hard actually.. But i'm just unhappy."

That's when i realized that all this time that i complained about him, it was really me. He didn't do anything wrong, i was just being a bitch. But i have to admit that i still feel sad because a part of me wants to leave this relationship, but yet a part of me wants to stay and give it another shot. I never thought i would ever say this but really, it's not you .. it's me.

But thank you, thank you for trying. Thank you for everything.